Teaching ‘Em Manners

Binaya Ghimire

Kids are like clay waiting to be built into something of value. As a parent, your role is like of potter. What kind of items you make from your pottery depends on your pottery skills.
As a parent, you might set rules for your child. However, imposing a rule without explaining the reasons for the rule may have bad consequences, for instance, it is likely that the rule is always broken. When you tell a child not to do something, they want to know why they shouldn’t do it, and even then they will test the boundaries to see if they can get away without being punished. Furthermore, when a child misbehaves, you should also never overlook their misbehaviour regardless of how minor it is. The child will think that he can do it again and get away with it.
Whenever you make a rule, you should always stick to it. It will be confusing for the child if you change the rules every day and it is likely that he won’t take you seriously. However, whenever your child breaks rules, you must remember not to inflict guilt on your child. You might think that it is a behaviour modification, but it is bad for the child and has lingering effects that might cause your child to feel distressed. It is also imperative that you should not allow your child to be carefree. Even the tiniest of task will help to instil responsibility in him.
Sometimes the best source of knowledge is experience. The knowledge of how to become experts on the role a parent plays in their child education isn’t downloaded in their DNAs, therefore, they have to source this knowledge through reading. Knowledge is power and with technology, there is a lot of information at the finger tips. Also you can get the information first hand from other parents who have children of the same age as your child or older.
You must always discourage bribery. Bribing your child is never a good idea because it defeats the purpose of teaching a child to be respectful and responsible. It sends the message that if they misbehave they can be rewarded, and soon they will feel entitled to reward every time they misbehave.
Don’t ask your very young child to promise to keep sensitive information that if got out will get him in trouble. A young child’s brain isn’t developed to keep information to themselves especially those that they are told to keep to themselves. When you ask them to hold a promise to something you put them in a position where they are forced to lie.
As a parent you should never underestimate the potential of your child, he/she just might surprise you. If the child thinks that you have no confidence in him/her, it might lower his/her self-esteem. This might cause the child to disbelieve him/her, which may affect his/her learning negatively.
Some parents expect their child to follow every rule and instruction. It is very unlikely that the children will be obedient at all times. No matter how small their brains are they do have the ability to think for themselves and should be allowed to exercise that right. Rules are made to keep your child in check so it is important that they operate within the walls of those guidelines.



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